There are days when all of our plans go smoothly; we feel in sync with life, everything goes our way. Then there are days when it all falls apart and the best we can do is to ride it out, knowing this too shall pass. We make plans, and our plans take a detour in another direction.
Life’s setbacks are numerous, including dealing with the computer virus or other technology problems, the break up of a relationship, an eviction notice, being late for an important appointment, or an unexpected bill. If you’re having one of those days, here are some suggestions to help you get through the other side:
- Feel your feelings, every single one of them. Having the courage to own your feelings in the moment helps you to get through to the other side a lot quicker.
- Journal about your feelings. There’s something magical about putting pen to paper right from your feeling place. Don’t edit your words; no one will see this except you.
- Pray. Ask for God’s guidance. The idea here is to connect with that still, small voice within you, whatever you call it. There are no rules as to how you connect. What I’ve found to be useful is to find a quiet space. When there is a lot of noise around you, it’s hard to tap into your intuitive voice, the one that steers you in the direction that’s appropriate for you.
- If prayer doesn’t work for you, read something positive. This allows you to create a space within yourself so that the solution can enter. What usually works for me is reading Step 10 followed by Step 6 in Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, or if the book is not close at hand, I generally listen to inspirational tapes.
- Call a friend who will allow you to vent. Left to your own thoughts, you can get more toxic. It’s hard to solve the problem with the consciousness that helped to create the problem. The idea of having someone shed light in the form of a solution or a suggestion can be helpful. Sharing in a non-judgmental environment allows you to hear yourself, which ultimately helps you to get on with the business of living.
- When all else fails, take a nap or watch a mindless television program purely for its entertainment value. Clear your mind long enough for sanity to return.
- Have the courage to ask the tough questions. One day, after my entire computer was destroyed because of a virus, I ranted about people who have nothing better to do then create viruses. I then needed to ask myself the following; could I have done something differently? Yes, all of my files should have been backed up. Were there red flags I didn’t pay attention to or chose not to see? Yes. My computer has been acting strange for a while. At the very least, I should have backed everything up when I first noticed there was a problem.
- Get into the solution. With a writing deadline and two client engagements scheduled within a week of the occurrence, I couldn’t afford to pitty myself for a long. What could I do? I told my clients what happened and asked that they resend their documents. I re-created presentation materials as best I could. I checked my laptop to see whether I had duplicate documents, and in some cases, I did. I ordered a new computer and saved everything on my laptop to a storage drive. I learned from my mistake.
This week, you have the opportunity to learn from your mistakes too. What went wrong today or this week? Write about it and allow yourself to feel whatever feelings come up. Then see what can you do to get into the solution, what action can you take to minimize the damage done? What can you do to prevent this from happening again?
Until next time, I’m Attorney Francine Ward helping you protect what’s yours. Join my conversation on Facebook, Twitter, or in one of my LinkedIn groups, Google+ Circles. Feel free to subscribe to my newsletter.