People-pleasing and the avoidance of being perceived as “selfish” can be destructive to self-esteem. And guess what? There’s still a pandemic happening all around us. We can’t afford to be people-pleasers anymore.
In many ways, society sends us double messages when it comes to taking care of ourselves. On one hand we are taught to look out for self, to take care of ourselves, to tend to our needs. We are taught to make ourselves as important as we make others; to go after what we want, and to fight for what we want.
Yet, if we fight too hard for ourselves, we are seen as selfish. Being branded the BIG “S” word is a fate worse than death, especially for women. Therefore, we view “selfish” as a bad word, and sometimes we’ll do anything to not be perceived in that way.
This is a truism for both men and women, although it appears more aptly applied to women. Women, as a group, are trained to be available to everyone except themselves.They make themselves available to their spouses, their children, their parents, their friends, their in-laws, the neighbor dog, but rarely to themselves. Women will go out of their way not to be perceived as selfish and often become sick, overweight, angry, resentful, and addicted in the process.
The price we pay to be a people-pleaser is high, and chips away at our self-respect. At what point do we learn that charity begins at home? Self-esteem comes from having the courage to make tough choices, even if they’re unpopular. Continual people-pleasing can become destructive to your health! The best thing that you can do for others it to take care of yourself. You certainly cannot give something that you do not have.
Don’t miss Francine’s Latest Blogs:
- Season of Thanksgiving.Season of Thanksgiving. Gratitude is a Verb. Often people think the only time to be grateful is on Thanksgiving. That is not true. The Season of Thanksgiving is everyday. How […]
- Giving.Giving. Ebb and Flow of Creation. Did you know that one of the oldest, time-tested methods to bring things into your life (receiving), is by giving. Yes, it’s true. Our […]
- Special Needs Child or GrandchildAll children are a blessing. From the day they are born, you begin making plans to ensure their future. What will their interests be? What job will they have? Who […]
- Never Stop Trying | Wealth Counsel Trailblazer AwardI’m not one to self-promote. I strive daily to help others – that’s what makes life meaningful to me. I considered my day significant and complete when I am helping […]
- Dead or Alive: The InternetI’m not into conspiracy theories, but this one is worth the read. As an Intellectual Property lawyer, I’m always keeping an eye on the evolution of Artificial Intelligence and how […]