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“Why me?”

Sometimes when we’re disappointed because we didn’t get the outcome we wanted, it’s hard to understand why it happened. It seems unfair that we try hard to achieve our goals with little visible success. It’s tough if we did our very best. “Why me?” we ask. “Why is this happening to me? What did I do wrong?”

Nothing happens by accident.

Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in this world by accident, even if, at the moment, we can’t make sense of the experiences. There are often two levels of reasoning. There is a logical, secular explanation, such as we weren’t prepared in the way we needed to be, or we could have made different choices. But there is also a spiritual, metaphysical accounting that suggests that whatever happens is for our highest and best good, regardless of outward appearances to the contrary.
The spiritual reasons could be we weren’t emotionally ready to go to the next level. We had more inner work to do, there were more important things to attend to before our dreams could be realized, it wasn’t the right time, or had we realized our goal, we would have missed another opportunity we needed to experience.

How do you know whether to let a dream go or keep at it?

And if you let go, how do you know when it’s time to try again? There is no one-size-fits-all answer. There are many factors to be considered, including timing. If you’re at this crossroads, take into account the following:

  • Are you consumed with making your dream happen?
  • How long have you worked to make it happen? How many attempts have you made?
  • How does your obsession with making it happen to affect your loved ones? Sometimes the price we pay is worth it – and sometimes, it’s not. Only you can decide.
  • What are the financial implications? Health implications? Are you using your last dime, your family’s savings, or rent money? Are you getting sick? These are questions to consider.
  • Is it your dream to make this happen? If so, sometimes it’s worth everything to keep the plan alive.
  • Does your life or livelihood depend on the success of this experience?
  • How do you know when you’re ready to resume the process? The answer varies. However, the amount of time since your last attempt, whether you’ve been able to acknowledge your mistakes, whether you’ve been able to identify lessons learned, and whether you’ve been able to reach out for help are all factors to be weighed.

Today allow yourself to think through what would happen if you temporarily put your dream on hold. You may not believe you have the time or have already invested too much money to stop now. But perhaps if you continue as you are, more money and time will go to waste. Sometimes allowing time to come between you and the experience gives you a chance to regroup, reassess your strategy, and become spiritually and emotionally strong again.

Francine D. Ward
Attorney-at-Law, Author, Speaker

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