Give Up Being The Victim. Accountability. Victim.

Today, let’s discuss victimhood. Victimhood is an appealing place to live. When you’re in the victim mode, you get sympathy, you’re the center of attention, you have a valid excuse for not taking responsibility for your feelings or your actions, little is expected of you, and you feel justified for being depressed. In truth, it becomes an unhealthy pattern, one that’s often hard to break, because you get so accustomed to being the victim. Accountability never becomes an issue, because there is always someone to blame. It’s the easier, softer way to live for many of us. Yet in truth, it’s like digging a hole in the ground and decorating it, making it your permanent living space.
For years I used being black, being female, and growing up poor as an excuse for feeling and acting like a victim. Whenever anyone would listen, I’d share my sad sob story. And I used that as an excuse to be angry – all the time. Unquestionably, my life has been challenging, but at what point did I have a responsibility to turn my condition around? At what point did I have a responsibility to recognize that I helped to create some of what happened to me because of the choices I made?

Relinquishing your right to choose.

When we choose to relinquish our right of choice, we are making a choice. This is another unhealthy pattern we fall into. Often thinking if we make no decision at all, we’re free from responsibility, because someone else will have to make a decision, and be responsible instead of us. But making no decision is making a decision to give someone else the power, and the problem with that is we rarely like the choices others make for us.
There is no doubt that the feelings that led you to play the part of the victim are valid, but eventually you must make the decision to move on with your life. It’s an Esteemable Act to make right choices and leave victimhood behind.
What can you do right now in this moment to move you closer to making better choices? What one action are you willing to take right now? Perhaps it’s to talk to a buddy, or go into meditation so you can listen to your inner voice? Whatever you do, it’s importation that you do something.
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