Just because you can have kids, does not mean you should.
Often I get complaints about my statement that not all women are fit to be mothers. Some folks seem to believe just because a woman can have children, she should, and just because a man has sperm, he should share it with every woman he desires. Sadly, from a legal perspective, I get to see what happens to the kids. This week I took notice of two outrageous examples that bolster my opinion on this subject.
Unfit Parents. Drug Addict. Effects of Drugs.
The other day there was a news story , yet one more example of why I feel that way. A Delaware mother is under arrest after she sent her 4-year old to daycare with a backpack filled with 249 bags of heroin. Innocently, the child promptly began giving out the dangerous drug to her classmates. Whether the mother accidentally gave the kid the backpack or intentionally gave it to her to share with friends in attempt to get the kids hooked, this woman should be in jail forever and she should lose custody of her children, forever!
Not only has this woman endangered her own child, the potential harm she has caused other children is shameful. I am sure there are some will call me harsh, or that she simply made a mistake. Perhaps it was a mistake. However, that doesn’t explain what the woman was doing with 249 bags of heroin in the first place. Was it her intent to sell the drugs? Even if she was simply a user and not a dealer, she is still a danger to her children. This kind of irresponsible behavior can ruin lives regardless of how or why the drugs wound up in her daughter’s backpack.
The Good Wife. Drug Dealers.
It’s no secret that I put pedophiles and drug dealers in the same category. And it’s too bad more of us don’t share this opinion, including people in the entertainment industry. For example, I am very disappointed at the direction one my favorite TV shows has taken in this regard. The Good Wife started as out a great program, but I now find the plot twisting into darkness by glorifying and legitimizing drug lord, Lemond Bishop, played by Mike Colter. We will never get rid of addiction and all the destruction it causes by glamorizing drug dealers. What would happen if one of one of Alicia Florrick’s children wound up hooked on drugs, maybe even drugs supplied by her client? While the portraying the Alicia Florrick character as being a good mom, she is selling out her values for dirty money. And the Good Wife is only one of MANY shows that glamorizes, and thus desensitizes us to crime, drug trafficking, pornography, pimps, pedophilia, explicit sex, and violence. These shows encourage you to feel sympathy for the “poor dope dealer” who sells drugs to everyone’s kids except yours, or the pimp who looks like the kid next door, or the hooker who is just paying her way through school. Shows like Breaking Bad, the Sopranos, Sons of Anarchy, Boardwalk Empire, White Collar, Weeds, the Good Wife, and so many more.
Iyanla’s Fix My Life.
Another one from the “just because you can have kids does not mean you should” file.
This week on OWN’s Iyanla’s Fix My Life show there was a segment about a man who had sired 34 children with 17 different women. Maybe one can understand if a person has one child that they cannot care for, or have no intention of caring for, but 34! He should be in jail for committing such a heinous act against God and human kind. Many of his kids have gone on to behave in the same way. Even if he stops his outrageous and irresponsible behavior and gets an overdue vasectomy, the destruction he has caused in so many lives is as sad as it is tragic. Some folks may say that everyone deserves a second chance. Yes, but he had 34 second chances and still has not made it right. He says, “I never considered getting a vasectomy, nor will I, because simply, I don’t want one … I don’t have a problem with what I created.”
Then there’s the matter of the women who gave birth to his 34 children. No doubt, some will feel sorry for them and see them as victims. I say that it’s the kids who are the real victims! The women chose to have unprotected sex with a man who they knew was a bum. Perhaps they thought that this time he would be different, that he would change. It’s hard to believe that they didn’t know who they were dealing with. How is it possible to hide 34 kids from smart women? At what point do these women take responsibility for their actions and lack of judgment?
Even with an intact and supportive family, it can still be hard growing up with all the challenges and temptations children face on a daily basis. Then think about the odds of growing up to be a happy and productive adult when born to people who really had no business having children.
Until next time, I’m Francine Ward, attorney, coach, author, and speaker. I invite you to join my conversation on my Esteemable Acts Fan page, Esteemable Acts Twitter feed, or in one of my LinkedIn Groups.