Failure. Making Mistakes.
I have failed at many things in my life – driver’s tests, school exams, relationships, but nothing compared to failing the New York State Bar Exam. It was significant because this was the first time I had really worked so hard to accomplish a goal, the first time I put my all into something. Everything I had went into passing, and from this experience I heard firsthand how it felt to fail – and I failed miserably. I failed the New York Bar not once but twice, before passing and going on to become a licensed attorney in the State of New York.
Reach a Goal.
Have you ever worked really hard to reach a goal, only to fail? Have you ever done your very best and it just wasn’t good enough? Have you ever sacrificed everything for a dream and it did not turn out the way you wanted it to? If you answered yes to any of these, allow me to congratulate you for having the courage to try something new and risk failure! But why are so many of us afraid to risk failure?
Many of us grow up believing that failing and making mistakes are the worst things that can happen to us. As children, we’re discouraged from making mistakes, so we never have to learn from them. If it appears we’re about to make a mistake, our parents from teachers quickly either stop the process. If they can’t, they try to take away the pain rather than allowing us to experience it in the moment, then showing us how to get up, dust ourselves off, and start all over again.
We’re taught that if we fail, life is over, or that we won’t succeed, or that people won’t like us, or that people will look down on us, or that making a mistake is a sign of weakness. So we hold on to our unconscious fear of failure, thus giving it power to direct our thoughts and energy.
Create a New Picture of Ourselves.
What we need to create is a new picture of ourselves, a new belief that we are successes, not failures. The worse thing in life is never to try. Further, we must imagine ourselves living the life we want, rather than consciously or unconsciously attracting the experience of failure. What do you believe about your ability to succeed?
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